Bernie pic

Bernie pic

Saturday, 14 February 2015

Holy Bookmark, Day 9: Forces of Niceness Gather

 Mr King is horrified Jane Sharp might fail in  her Quest 
to join him on the Heights of Popular Literature.

HERO of the written word, Jane Sharp, the Gran who would be King, is united with her fans.
The liberators fly in a gilded carriage through the sky of Kindle Kingdom towards the mountain Popular Literary Olympus where Stephen King, Dean Koontz and Heather Graham live. 
Six giant pterodactyls draw the carriage at full speed. But Kindle Kingdom is so large the party has been flying for two days ever since Jane landed on the mainland at eBay. OUR HERO had been exiled in the Island of Lowrankland but escaped by riding her Magic Bent Banana as if it were a canoe.
The horse and carriage flies over Tweet 16 District and there before their very eyes is Popular Literary Olympus where Stephen King, Dean Koontz and Heather Graham live. Their driver is looking for a ledge to land on near the apex of Popular Literary Olympus. Follow Jane’s journey HERE 
But the two lead pterodactyls hit an invisible force field and plummet toward the ground dragging the other pterodactyls and the gilded carriage down with them.
The four conscious ancient birds are screeching and everyone inside the carriage is shrieking except for OUR HERO Jane who knows no fear. 

Valentine's Day Version

Ever since she took the vow to thwart the Big 5 Giants of the Land of Publishing Jane has pushed on, past spiteful reviews and low rankings. Now she calmly contemplates how to right the carriage and continue the Quest for the Holy Bookmark, Kindle Top 10 in Suspense/ Psychics as reward for her book Vision: Complete Trudy Harper Psychic Investigations
If only Jane had the Holy Bookmark, she could wake the unconscious pterodactyls and unlock a portal through the force field and climb to the high part of Popular Literary Olympus where Stephen King, Dean Koontz and Heather Graham live.
If only the Muse Urania was here, she would help them, unless she was working secretly against them in which case she wouldn’t. 
Of a sudden, Urania appears in the carriage. The two unconscious pterodactyls recover and the 6 giant birds  fly round and round the mountain while Urania makes her Very Important Speech, VIS a VIS moving the plot along as the Quest for the Holy Bookmark, Kindle Top 10 in Suspense/ Psychics must end in 36 hours. 

'Hope Jane sells enough books,' King would have said.

After that time the price of Jane's book will rise from $2.99 to $6.99 and some of the poor people in Kindle Kingdom cannot afford that. "I hope Jane sells enough books in the next 36 hours to attain the  Holy Bookmark, Kindle Top 10 in Suspense/ Psychics," Stephen King would have said. Mr King would have said that if he had the faintest idea who Jane was.
Back in the gilded carriage, the Muse Urania is jubilant. “Good news,”  she says. 
Jane looks at her eagerly.
“The people of the Cities of Americus are waking to greet Saturndiem,” Urania continues. “Soon they will be consuming the Sacred Script Vision: Complete Trudy Harper Psychic Investigations.”
“So today I will grasp the Holy Bookmark, Kindle Top 10 in Suspense/ Psychics,” Jane says, just like the title of a Jane's Addiction song.
“Perhaps not,” the Muse says. “At the moment you are a fair way out of the Top 100, let alone Top 10.” (Breaking News: Jane is now at #70)
“So what’s the Good News?” Jane asks.
“After tomorrow, I will be Musing another author,” Urania says. “I’m hoping I get Stephen King. “I think I deserve him after you.”
“Thanks very much,” Jane says, still like the title of a Jane's Addiction song. “You never know, my fans might surprise you.”
“I doubt it,” says the Muse who is cranky because she is still in the job of Musing after 2000 years and she needs a change.
She would never have spoken to an Ancient Greek client the way she has to Jane.


Here is our song

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