Bernie pic

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Bernie

Sunday 15 February 2015

Holy Bookmark Quest: Last Day of Reckoning

Author Jane Sharp challenges Stephen King

Noo Yawk is a city overlooking the mountain Popular Literary Olympus where Dean Koontz, Heather Graham and Stephen King live although they arrived on the mount from other parts of Americus.
The Literary Liberators, author Jane Sharp and her fans, are flying a gilded carriage in a circle around Popular Literary Olympus where Dean Koontz, Heather Graham and Stephen King live. The freedom fighters want to land on the mountain to farewell Jane so she can live there as an immortal. But Jane needs to find the Holy Bookmark Kindle Top 10 in Suspense/Psychics because it is the key to the portal into Popular Literary Olympus where Dean Koontz, Heather Graham and Stephen King live.

Saturday 14 February 2015

The King is dead; long live the Queen

No need to call on this bloke

FROM the outset, I would like to make it clear, Stephen King is not dead. False rumors can sprint across cyberspace and I do not want to start one.
Mr. King, in fact, is about to become executive producer of a television series based on his crime thriller, Mr. Mercedes. You need a modicum of life to do that. 
Mr. King’s demise is in a metaphorical sense, though even that is exaggerated. I thought it would be fun if Bent Banana Books author Jane Sharp challenged Stephen King for his pre-eminent position as an author in the Suspense/ Psychics category. The new Queen of Psychic Mysteries usurps the King.

I am confident people will enjoy Jane’s book Vision: Complete Trudy Harper Psychic Investigations http://geni.us/1l36 so I am happy to be creative in encouraging people to buy it.

Well, the idea of supporting the Gran who would be King against the clock has taken off among people from around the world. Jane's book is at the reduced price of $2.99 for only one more day.

Jane’s book Vision: Complete Trudy Harper Psychic Investigations has been in and out of the Kindle Top 100 Suspense/ Psychics for weeks.

By yesterday, it had slipped well out of the Top 100 Suspense/ Psychics  and was ranked overall in the 300, 000s.

It is now #57000 overall and #59 in Top 100. For another 27 hours Jane’s book has its best chance of moving merrily up the ranks as it will be at its special price of $2.99, reduced from $6.99.

27 hours gives us little time for positive word of mouth to kick in so we need to preach of the challenge. Maybe we could hire the preacher bloke in this film.
We are aiming for Top 10 Suspense/ Psychics. I will let you know how we go. You can follow Jane’s fortune’s HERE

And Mr. King, we know we can never be royals.

For our song, I replay one of my and Mr King's fave bands. Apparently some hard-core fans of the band did not like this song one little bit. I guess they missed the joke.



Holy Bookmark, Day 9: Forces of Niceness Gather

 Mr King is horrified Jane Sharp might fail in  her Quest 
to join him on the Heights of Popular Literature.

HERO of the written word, Jane Sharp, the Gran who would be King, is united with her fans.
The liberators fly in a gilded carriage through the sky of Kindle Kingdom towards the mountain Popular Literary Olympus where Stephen King, Dean Koontz and Heather Graham live. 
Six giant pterodactyls draw the carriage at full speed. But Kindle Kingdom is so large the party has been flying for two days ever since Jane landed on the mainland at eBay. OUR HERO had been exiled in the Island of Lowrankland but escaped by riding her Magic Bent Banana as if it were a canoe.

Thursday 12 February 2015

Quest Day 7 Hero Jane rises again


The Gutenbook Library emits signals to guide Questies

The story so far:

The Big 5 Giants of the Land of Publishing in Kindle Kingdom have banished their competitor and OUR HERO Jane Sharp to the island of Lowrankland.

The Sacred Script Vision: Complete Trudy Harper Psychic Investigations http://geni.us/1l36 has challenged the power of the Big 5 and is being smuggled across Kindle Kingdom. Followers of Hero of the Written Word, Jane Sharp, the Gran who would be King, are gathered on the mainland waiting for their favorite author to cross the sea.

Jane spent the whole 6th Day of her Quest for the Holy Bookmark, Top 10 Suspense/Psychics devising a way to reach her supporters.

NOW READ ON:

Tuesday 10 February 2015

Holy Bookmark Quest Day 5: Disciples & Detractors


Standard reading on the Island of Lowrankland


The story so far:

The Sacred Script Vision: Complete Trudy Harper Psychic Investigations http://geni.us/1l36 is being smuggled through Kindle Kingdom. Followers of Hero of the Written Word, Jane Sharp,  the Gran who would be King, are carrying the 20 psychic parables throughout the land and sea, hidden in their tunics. The followers have the tunics, not the land and sea though landlines can carry electronic books and many people read in seabed.

The books have to hidden. The Big 5 Giants of the Land of Publishing demand their Gatekeepers approve every book before the subjects of Kindle Kingdom are allowed to read it. They will not approve the Sacred Script which has to be widely read as part of OUR HERO's Quest for the Holy Bookmark, Kindle Top 10 Suspense/Psychics.

Jane is exiled by the Big 5 to the Island of Lowrankland where the Muse Urania is holidaying. The Muse has concocted an elaborate plan in which Count Down Deal will sell copies of 5 of Jane’s stories Vision the Reluctant Psychic http://geni.us/3y7d as bait to have the subjects of Kindle Kingdom crying out for more.

Jane wonders if the complicated plan is a ruse and the Muse Urania does not have OUR HERO’s interest at heart. NOW READ ON:

Monday 9 February 2015

Quest for the Holy Bookmark Day 4: Message in a Big Bottle



HERO of the written word, Jane Sharp, the Gran who would be King, is banished to the Island of Lowrankland.

The story so far
Jane tried to convince the literate people of Kindle Kingdom to scorn the hegemony of the Big 5 Giants of the Land of Publishing.
Jane Sharp’s epic Quest for the Holy Bookmark is to climb to the top of Popular Literary Olympus where Stephen King, Dean Koontz and Heather Graham live. Follow Jane’s journey HERE
The Muse Urania appears to Jane on the Island of Lowrankland. She hands Jane a compass.
Urania tells OUR HERO to put 5 of her psychic parables in a Sacred Text called Vision the Reluctant Psychic http://geni.us/3y7d
“Put the manuscript in a Big Bottle and push it towards the Land of Americus,” the Muse says. “I will do the rest by the power of the stars.”
This was on Day 3 of the Quest.
Now read on . . .

Sunday 8 February 2015

Quest for the Holy Bookmark: Day 3


JANE Sharp’s epic quest to climb Literary Olympus, where Stephen King, Dean Koontz and Heather Graham live, is in Day 3
The Muses held Jane’s quivering hand as she wrote with a quiver the Sacred Script Vision: Complete Trudy Harper Psychic Investigations. http://geni.us/1l36
But the people of Kindle Kingdom have failed to fall in love with Vision Complete as the Muses predicted they would.
On Day 3 Jane looks squarely at the camera and admits the Forces of Weevil look impossible to defeat. Follow Jane’s journey HERE

On Day 3, Jane’s name had been scratched from the Sacred List of Kindle Kingdom Top 100 in Psychics Suspense.
Our Hero Jane, is on the Quest for the Holy Bookmark, Top 10 in Psychics.
HUGE HACHETTE


The gremlin Grouchy has given Jane the Magic Bent Banana to protect her against the Big 5 in the Land of Publishing. The banana has proven no match for the arsenal of the Big 5 which includes the Huge Hachette (note: check spelling)
Jane has been exiled to Lowrankland where she is trying to organize a select group of warriors for another assault on Kindle Kingdom Top 100.

Follow Jane’s journey HERE

On the island of Lowrankland Jane discovers an ancient tome Vision: the Reluctant Psychic, written by her ancestor.
Jane places the book in a large sealed bottle which she puts to sea and pushes towards Kindle Kingdom.
Jane’s plan is for people of Kindle Kingdom to fall in love with Vision the Reluctant Psychic and in gratitude present Jane with the Holy Bookmark in exchange for her new Sacred Script Vision: Complete Trudy Harper Psychic Investigations.
Vision the Reluctant Psychic is on a Kindle Countdown Deal at .99c/.99p until Friday, (February 13, U.S. time) for Amazon subscribers in the U.S. and UK. BUY  
Also on Lowrankland, Jane discovers, You, O Wise Reader, and you volunteer to be Jane’s Mentor, offering advice on how to climb higher and predictions of what glory Jane can attain.
We are giving away an eBook to each of the three readers who guess closest to the highest position Jane will reach before the end of the day February 15.
As we have bombed out of the Top 100, Jane’s highest position so far is 50. You can guess that if you like. Or you can accompany us on our quest and aim for the sky.
Add your guess as a comment.

Follow Jane’s journey HERE 

Our song

Saturday 7 February 2015

5 steps on Jane’s Quest for the Holy Bookmark

Everyone loves Jane's book 
Vision: Complete Jane Sharp Psychic Investigations
but they do not all know it yet

JANE Sharp’s epic quest to climb Literary Olympus where Stephen King, Dean Koontz and Heather Graham live, is in Day 2. Or it could be Day 3 in other parts of the world. These Herculean tales are the stuff of legend and hence are not always precise.
Follow Jane’s journey HERE 
If you are new to The Tale of Vision: Complete Trudy Harper Psychic Investigations , you can catch up by reading my introductory blog.
Otherwise I have a bit of a story board here.
1.       The Hero
Jane Sharp is the Gran who would be King. The Muses have helped Jane write The Tale of Vision: Complete Trudy Harper Psychic Investigations. HERE  

Thursday 5 February 2015

In the company of Kings, Koontzes and Grahams


Best Sellers in Psychic Suspense Top 100 Paid  

A HUMBLE Australian grandmother from the working-class  suburb of Strathpine is mixing it with the giants of popular literature.
Jane Sharp’s Vision: Complete Trudy Harper Psychic Investigations is published by Bent Banana Books. As many of you know BBB is me, Bernie. Or should that be I, Bernie? Never mind. This is not about me. Or I. This is about Main Jane.
Vision, containing all 20 Trudy Harper mysteries is in Amazon Kindle Top 100 in Psychics and Top 100 in Ghosts.
Jane’s tales are competing well with the books of Dean Koontz, Heather Graham and Stephen King.

Monday 2 February 2015

Tables are turned


WE all know what the expression "the tables are turned" means. It  says roles are  reversed. But why isn't it "the table is turned".
       I can think about stuff like this intermittently over a week or a month. I usually give up after a year if I have not figured it out.
       Anyway the table is turned here because I an giving an interview rather than taking one.