You see, an Australian, a Kiwi and a Russian want to name this racehorse...

BBB -Bernie’s Best Bet for Australia on June 30, 2012  - was at the Sunshine Coast, in the 3-year-olds Guineas:  Sunshine Coast R 5 H 15 Ametsis.

My international tipping service began as a bit of fun and for me to create a few new Twitter followers. 

One Tweeter offered the opinion that, if you have fewer than 100 followers, you are a stalker. They probably said less than 100 followers; as a general rule, people who insult strangers on the internet do not have advanced grammatical skills.

I rather like the notion of victimless cyberstalking, but I decided I would gather 100 followers without using the unwholesome tactics usually employed, such as following-unfollowing, becoming a Hollywood actor and so on.

So I offered my fun FREE tipping service with odd info and links thrown in.

Meet Ametsis

As I said above, weirdly named Aussie racehorse Ametsis was the tip for June 30.

Ametsis is named after New Zealand  owners Brendan and Jo Lindsay's plastic company and is Sistema spelt backwards.

Now I cannot condone rich people naming racehorses after things they own - businesses, pets, themselves -  unless it has a connection to their horse's breeding.

Because I like those cute Klip It fridge containers Sistema make I thought I would help them out. The real reason, that I have made up, the horse is called Ametsis follows.

The Russian Museum, based in St Petersburg, across that nation, has Virtual Branches information and educational centres with the partnership of Sistema Finance Investments One of these branches is in Kirov. 

Virtual Museum

Russian conglom - while I am making stuff up, conglom is a more expressive word than conglomerate - Sistema is one of the 10 largest business enterprises in that country.

Australian racehorse Sistema is out of the Zabeel mare Kirov Dancer.

From now on trainer Russel Cameron and owners Brendan and Jo Lindsay can tell owners  Ametsis’s mother’s moniker led them down a serendipitous path to naming the colt after their NZ company.

If you have any tales on racehorse names, please share them either through here, My Twitter a/c https://twitter.com/bentbananabooks or email bentbananabooks@gmail.com

As a reward for supporting my fiction about the name, grab a big bowl of popcorn  and a flask of coffee and let's watch the Kirov Ballet perform Swan Lake. It goes for a tick under two hours, apparently, so it will be fun. Enjoy.

Kirov Ballet

Cheers & Happy Punting 

Bernie

Hoofnote to the horse-racing true tale of an honest punter

Australian bookmakers bet 12-1 each way the odds on favourite Beauty Parlour in the 1 million euro French Oaks.  An honest Aussie punter alerted them to their mistake. Read the full story HERE.

Beauty Parlour appeared to have the French Oaks won but was gunned down by the  outsider, 25-1 pop Valyra, owned by billionaire, the Aga Khan.

Second favourite Kissed (4-1) which the bookies had laid each way at 22-1, broke down near the line and will be retired to stud. That’s racing and why the bookies drive prestige European cars and the punters get round in reliable Japanese models.

Even not-so-poor young filly Beauty Parlour is oriental being by Japan-raced and based sire Deep Impact.

Had Beauty Parlour won, it would have been Deep Impact’s first European Group 1 winner.

The bookies and a billionaire got the chocolates, as the racing mob say, but Beauty Parlour, Deep Impact and the punters live to fight another day.

Aussie bookie bets 12-1 for odds-on favourite

 Chantilly

French Oaks

Single Bets 

Win or EW

BEAUTY PARLOUR     13.00                    1.80

KISSED                         23.00                   5.00

TROIS LUNES             101.00                21.00

BEST OF ALL                   1.80              101.00

Each Way Terms: 3 places 1/5 odds

OO-la-la! Punter’s Dream. Odds in red are what Sportsbet put up for some horses in the French Oaks and at right are the correct odds.

---

IT is every punter’s dream and it finally happened.

Australian online bookmaker sportsbet.com.au put up the wrong odds for the French Oaks run at Chantilly racetrack on June 17, 2012.

Sportsbet installed the 100-1 shot Best of All as odds-on favourite and the short-priced favourite Beauty Parlour at 12-1. Second favourite Kissed (4-1) was put up at 22-1 with win or each-way betting allowed.

It was a bungle which might have gone down in the legal and ethical text-books. What would a punter do if they discovered the juicy odds about the hot-pots? An astute gambler could have backed the two favourites each-way and thrown in a smaller bet each-way on 20-1 shot Trois Lunes which was posted at 100-1. Would the bets pass legal muster if the punter had a big collect at the wrong odds?

Queensland author and journalist Bernie Dowling discovered the error 38 hours before the running of the French Oaks, the €1 million Prix de Diane at Hippodrome de Chantilly, north of Paris.

“It was the first day of my free international tipping service on Twitter,’’ Mr Dowling said.

“It’s a fun thing to promote my novel, Iraqi Icicle with the second edition due late this year.”

Mr Dowling decided tipping into the French Oaks was a plan so he did what a journalist or seasoned punter would do, searched the internet for form.

“I found stories on the entries of billionaire owner the Aga Khan and top Irish trainer Aidan O’Brien but I couldn’t find a thing on the false favourite, Best of All,” Mr Dowling said.

He found the unbeaten Beauty Parlour was highly regarded and stumbled across a betting market – though not from a bookie – which had that filly at odds-on.

“I suspected both this market and Sportsbet’s were wrong and the correct odds on Beauty Parlour were somewhere in between, so I had a small bet of $5 each way on the filly.”

Ploughing on with the research, Mr Dowling found the source of the wrong Sportsbet market and then one by the delightfully named European bookmaker paddypower.com.

“I knew Paddy would have it right.”

Here was an ethical quandary with possible legal ramifications.

“Oddly, it did not cross my mind to have a real go each way on the first and second favourites.

“It was not for legal reasons; I believe the epic struggle between punter and bookie should be fought on high moral ground.”

What did cross that punter’s mind was tweeting the error.

“What a start that would have been to my international tipping service.

“I have only a handful of followers as I don’t believe in manipulating a following on Twitter.

“But I am sure my tweet could have gone mini-viral among punters who mould have scrambled to see what their own bookie was betting.”

“But once I had decided the right thing was to tell Sportsbet, I could not tweet their mistake before I contacted the bookie.”

Mr Dowling was particularly disappointed he was unable to tell one follower, a journalistic colleague who gave him the idea of a punting service.

“She has tipped me a couple of winners on the pacers. I suppose those tips will dry up now.”

Mr Dowling rang sportsbet.com.au about the error and within minutes the Oaks betting market was suspended.

The Queensland author is left with another dilemma to sort out.

“The main character in my novel Iraqi Icicle is Steele Hill who has been banned for life from all Australian racetracks for his minor role in a race fix.

“I am wondering if I should revoke the ban as a reward for my good dead.”

Mr Dowling admitted not every punter would see it as a good deed.

“It’s a tough call. The bookie always has the house percentage over you. Through an honest mistake, Sportsbet put the odds massively in favour of the punters. It will be interesting to find what others would have done in my shoes.

Sportsbet informed Mr Dowling his $10 bet on Beauty Parlour at 12-1 would stand.

His Twitter tipping service continues each Saturday from 9am, Aus EST. Visit http://twitter.com/bentbananabooks

Reviews roll on

REVIEWS are coming in to Amazon for Bernie Dowling's non-fiction work 7 Shouts:The Best of My Shout.
Gleaned from seven year's of his My Shout newspaper columns, the book establishes Australian humour at the off-centre of the Universe.
The first two reviewers each gave 7 Shouts four stars.
Here is what they had to say.


4.0 out of 5 stars A fun read, June 10, 2012
By baggy
This review is from: 7 Shouts (My Shout) (Kindle Edition)
Bernie Dowling has a unique voice that really brings his columns to life. I highly recommend this to anyone that enjoys Australian humour. Even if you don't laugh you will be entertained and informed. My favourite is the Slanguage chapter. For the record I say 'marown'.



4.0 out of 5 stars Fun book for the person who loves journalism!, June 7, 2012
By Heather Marie Adkins
This review is from: 7 Shouts (My Shout) (Kindle Edition)
Bernie Dowling has compiled years of journalistic endeavors into one compendium, along with pictures (some of them quite funny), and has thus given readers "7 Shouts". For the individual with a love of journalism, an open-minded viewpoint on all things living, and often insightful blurbs on life, I highly recommend this book. Love, tragedy, success, and history--it's all there in the funny, intelligent, and sometimes satirical voice of Dowling. Definitely a getaway read for the nonfiction crowd :)

Reviews are also at Google eBooks for the Kindle-less lovers of lit.
Visit Amazon 
or Google Books http://goo.gl/DxFCc
Give yourself a giggle.

That is why they call him a bookie

That is why they call him a bookie

BOOKMAKER Tom Waterhouse is at again.

The son of leading Australian racehorse trainer Gai Waterhouse is fresh from betting on the Sotheby auction of the Edvard Munch pastel The Scream.

Aussie author Miles Franklin

He follows up with a market on the prestigious and time-honoured Australian literary award the Miles Franklin which carries a winner-take-all purse of $50,000.

The Franklin is more than 50-years-old. An even older wordy institution The Sydney Morning Herald newspaper could not resist a comment on the bookie’s sideline from wagering on reality TV shows, The Voice and Brain Surgery with the Fishmongers. I apologise; I believe the latter one is called Dancing with Stars.

The SMH or the Herald – Sydneysiders are the only Australians who call it that, as there other Heralds in Oz – wrote about the betting on the books in one of its online entertainment stories.

The Herald wrote, ‘The day after the shortlist was confirmed, bookmaker and celebrated literary critic Tom Waterhouse released his list of odds on who would win…’

HERE

Oh yes, that bit about “celebrated literary critic” was definitely taking the piss, having a go/ dig at the bookie or having a lend of him. (Alright, you pedants technically that should be the noun loan, not the verb lend; but Aussie slang is what it is.)

The irony – bonus points coming for my using the term irony correctly – is the Miles Franklin yarn would probably have never made it to the SMH entertainment pages if it was not for the quirky gambling angle.

SHE: Darling, there is a story online about the Miles Franklin short-list

HE: Franklin, my Dear, I don’t give a damn.

Five Australian novelists have been shortlisted for the Miles Franklin and Waterhouse tells his punters what the race is all about:

‘…the $50,000 prize for the novel judged to be of the highest literary merit which must present Australian life in any of its phases," said Tom Waterhouse, Managing Director of tomwaterhouse.com.’

Tom or one of his agents copied the description from the Franklin website
http://www.milesfranklin.com.au/

It did not seem to trouble Tom or the many entrants what exactly "Australian life in any of its phases" is meant to  mean.

I automatically thought of the eight phases of the moon but the aim of such an allusion eluded me.

Judging this year was further confounded by the trustee The Trust Company formally authorising the five-person judging panel to use their discretion to ‘modernise the interpretation of Australian life beyond geographical boundaries to include mindset, language, history and values’

Crikey, when you add the fact, the winning author does not have to be Australian, the five Aussie scribes are bloody lucky Forrest Gump was not published last year.

Certainly the Waterhouse favourite for the Miles Franklin Anna Funder’s All That I Am, is only fleetingly grounded in Australia because one narrator Ruth Blatt is spending the last years of her life in Sydney around the turn of the 21^st century.

Funder’s is a “factional’’ novel, a term the author may dislike but then she is unlikely to be reading this yarn.

The novel is about five Jewish-German opponents of Hitler who flee to London and later one to America.

Tom Waterhouse says the new rules are among the reasons he made Funder favourite.

‘(The new authorisation) is significant given that Anna's highly acclaimed debut novel is set across three continents and several decades.’ (A note for future reference, Mr Waterhouse, it is not Anna. We in the writing game refer to authors and artists by their family names unless we regularly enjoy soy latte with them, a fact we need to disclose.)

The 2012 Miles Franklin winner will be disclosed on June 20 so we have lots of time to place our bets.

In my next yarn on the topic, I will discuss the form of the five finalists.

For more quirky looks at Australia’s place in the universe my book 7 Shouts is available from Google Books, Amazon and affiliates.

Cheers
Bernie

Horseys painties and big bucksies

REMIND me not to bet on anything with fewer than four legs.

Aussie bookmaker  Tom Waterhouse was betting $1.90 Edvard Munch’s pastel painting The Scream would fetch more than $106.5M at an auction at Sotheby’s auction in New York.

My considered opinion was it would go for a mere pittance, less than, $80M. I was way off.

The Scream went for chump change under $120M.

The winning bid was taken by a Sotheby's executive, and the bidder was not identified.

One of four versions by  Norwegian artist Munch, but the only one in private hands, The Scream easily topped the previous auction record held by Picasso's Nude, green leaves and bust, which went for a piddling $106.5 million at Christie's two years ago.

It is reported the sales room at Sotheby's erupted in applause and cheering when the hammer came down. A few titters of laughter came from those who had read my estimation had paid 50% too much. I believe the laughter was directed at me rather than the buyer.

I could go on about some people having too much money and I will for a bit. Two resolute bidders drew away from the original field of seven to drive the price up by telephone.

Overall, the Sotheby fetched a record $330 million with Picasso's Femme assise dans un fauteuil, selling  for $29.2M; Miro's Tete humaine taking $14.86M out of someone’s purse and Dali's  Printemps necrophilique, gathering  $16.3M in the dead of spring.

Talking of the dead, I made my money today on the annual Grand National Steeplechase at Warnambool, Victoria, here in Australia.

I say dead as the music for the unofficial Aussie national anthem Waltzing Matilda was supposedly the modification of a tune Christina Macpherson heard at this race meeting in 1894. I say dead also in remembrance of the horses and jockeys who have lost their lives during the atavistic sport of jumps racing.

I support the abolition of jumps racing while I will bet on them as long as they continue. You might call that horsey hypocrisy and it would be a good call. As I mentioned in my previous column, we Aussies will bet on two flies crawling up a wall.

Great Britain is the thorn in the side of a world-wide ban on jumps racing. Racetracks there have total programs with jumps racing. Many expensive racehorses run on both the flat and over jumps. The Grand National Steeplechase is an institution.

Banning jumps racehorses would create more reaction than recent attempts to stop the barbaric fox hunting. Oscar Wilde was awake to the essence of that sport  more than a century ago. He called it ``the unspeakable in pursuit of the edible''.

Without presuming to improve in Wilde, he could have said the ``ineffable in pursuit''. The prefix “in’’  can convey emphasis instead of negativity. Extreme ‘’effers” support fox hunting and jumps racing.

For more of my extreme pontifications see 7 Shouts at Google eBooks or  Amazon.

Cheers
Bernie.